|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
DesiccationStab me with a butcher's knife and dig it deep within.
Pierce me with a needle and push it beneath my skin.
Let my pain bleed out until there's nothing left.
Crucify my doubts and fears brought to me by a sinful theft.
Ah, the cleansing, I can feel it now,
as the burning blood drips from my brow,
Flows and falls into a blackened pit,
where teeth are knashing in swamps of spit.
Now tears are all that's left to spill.
Come dear L-rd and drink your fill.
Thoughts of a ButterflyFluttering around your head,
I find the dream is nearly dead.
Where to land I do not know.
So many things I wish to show.
Love is standing on the side,
As I wait for what you hide.
Cant be sure of what's ahead,
I hope and pray its not what I dread.
Feedin the Demon That Feeds MeThe darkness in me wants to hide in the shadows forever.
But the light in me wants to overcome the weather.
I'm haunted by a demon colored with distrust.
It lurks in my hole of blackness feeding me with agony and self-disgust.
"Why won't it leave me to be whole?",
I weep, pleading for G-d to save my wretched soul.
But the problem I find to be,
is that i enjoy to feed the depression living inside of me.
I hate this nocternal pet I've kept.
How could it be so long that I've slept?
Not knowing that what I feed it is left to decay,
I'm crying out from the inside for it to be taken away.
Ripping out my chest in grief,
dear G-d I beg for final relief!
My Stolen TearsI ponder what would be the number,
Of all the tears that were spilled asunder.
Mine would make up half that plunder,
Raging like a storm with thunder,
That no one wants to be left under,
Especially if they fall or blunder.
But who would take those tears of wonder?
Not even would a poor funder.
Writing It DownCry, cry, tears of loneliness,
drip them down my face again.
Afraid to write all these silly words again?
Afraid to face the pain that always lies within?
No one else will know unless I show them what's within.
But who could change this horrid feelin'?
Where's the person who knows what I'm feelin'?
If there was someone here who even cared for what I'm sayin',
I'd no longer write these words I'm sayin'.
Tar Pit FrenzyOne leg trapped, One leg free,
From my tarpit of insanity.
Half covered in debris,
Half drowning in this black sea,
Is the leg that's stuck, this part of me.
My eyes are blind to what this leg can see,
A darkness of hate and envy,
Creatures from within giggling with glee,
As they know I'm still caught by their tempting humanity.
I pull and tug to one day reach liberty,
But I know I cannot do it solely,
So I seek intervention by the tree,
And it speaks comfortly,
"Do not fear, I stand before thee."
Then I know if I hold my grip tightly,
My dreams of freedom will soon be reality.
My Crescent MoonThis crescent moon slowly fades,
Easing beneath the horizon,
Its different golden shades,
Have captured each of my eyes in.
How he sleeps each night alone,
I can only but sympathize,
For I carry in my heart the same tone,
Loneliness I wish not to realize.
Dangerous AttractionI don't know you,
But I'm here right now,
In plain sight.
I know there's probably been another few,
Maybe that's why I feel this fright.
Your mystery pulls me in,
Close to danger,
Your darkness sinks into my skin,
I need a savior.
Light Take my hand!
Show me what to do.
Pull me from this sand,
Before it's all through.
Midnight MirageThe moonlight shines through the window,
In the place that I spend all day,
Just thinking, pondering, wandering,
What could be,
Mostly of what couldn't,
And I sadly turn away from each minutely dream.
Can he see my soul,
Crying out to him,
Can he feel my hand touch his face,
As he slowly disappears.
So I heard you wanted to make them like you?So I heard you had someone in mind
Perhaps something more intimate and
So I heard you wanted him to like you,
And I heard you didn't know what to do.
And so I heard you wanted a friend.
Or maybe just one..
And I heard from you, that you want me to like you too
but how, you ask?
you don't need to try.
I mean I heard you wanted to make them like
Wondering how getting the attention of that special someone works?
or perhaps just the friend, you know.
I'm no somebody and preferably just a nobody but
I heard you wanted someone to like you.
So be You.
Expensive LiesI sit and stare at the toilet bowl.
A guy I know is bulimic.
When we compliment him
I see the twist of agony in his eyes
as his brain reprograms it
to sound like an expensive lie
that costs him another tear
in his tattered dignity.
Friends hurry to him,
to reassure him, to love him.
They tell him how beautiful he is.
We didn't know him before,
but he's definitely not fat now.
We whisper things in concern like;
body dysmorphic disorder.
'I know you'll never believe me
but you are so gorgeous -
not just on the inside.' Not just.
And they're right, I join in,
because they are right to say it
because it happens to be true -
he is stunning. Not just on the outside.
And we want him to see himself
the way we see him, beautiful.
And I join in because
I've felt that strangle of pain
in my stomach, bowels and belly,
when someone used to tell me lies.
So I know how he feels.
Only, he is beautiful on the outside
and I'm not.
He's not seeing reality in the mirror
and I am.
And people rush to correc
BeautyI'd rather wear flowers in my hair,
forming a delicate chain
Than diamonds around my neck,
covering my tender blue veins
For with every precious petal
and every lucent leaf
I'm a living lesson
teaching beauty can not be bought
But rather it grows and flourishes
with every living thought
Fearing MeI'm not afraid to cry
and I do it
a lot more than you would guess.
It isn't always sadness,
I just feel like I need to,
feel everything so strongly
that it's the only way
to let go for a moment
because if I hold on for too long,
if my grip gets too tight
I'll break myself,
I will break you like glass
and we will both
I am a good guy
who hasn't yet found a way
to show it,
I am a good guy
who still identifies with the villains,
hides everything important
anything to throw you
off of my trail....
and I don't know why,
but I am trying.
Maybe I think
that if you could see me,
the real me,
you wouldn't want to look anymore,
want to be anywhere near me,
and the idea
that I can't add up
to be enough for you,
to be enough for me,
is so fucking heart breaking
I can hardly fathom it.
I can't say that it doesn't hurt
because it does,
it hurts a whole hell of a lot,
I've come to depend on pain,
to befriend misery
A Kiss not Forgotten (a special tribute)Like a frost spread across valleys silent and dreary,
ever my longing lost in shimmers of shadow & wind
And days bled into years, the seas became deserts
But thoughts of thee would not perish
Thru memories untamed I staggered far and long;
upon solemn nights lit by the torch of your soul
O’ how deep I miss your fragrant cheer ..
Of warm evenings shared across Lake’s reverie,
watching horizons journey into Autumn’s dream
— wherest our hearts once bloomed a fabled sky
Those passions shared will forsake me not
Lest the Moon would bestow solace upon my ache:
I will lay marooned, haunted by thy seraphic-figure,
Or the ever fleeting caress of your gaze ...
So my soul shall yield to this mythic abyss; –
as I peer from my carriage to Nirvana
And thou away, from my arms, the Sun weeps
Unto eternity—my dear beloved, we are entwined
Forever our footprints cast in golden firmament
A kiss not forgotten in a ballet of light softly falling
I now bear the want
you're just a question marki met you so long ago
but back then our bodies were made of metal
and nowadays they’re made of the blades of
grass and dirt settling
underneath my fingernails.
my fingers are having a hard time
reaching the keys and
my organs are shaking mostly because i haven’t
eaten in two days but also
because i’m worried about the things you're doing to yourself.
we didn’t meet very long ago at all but it feels like forever ago
and you say you don’t know me
that you don’t know anyone
but baby you're turning into a skeleton and i’m peeling back my skin
to try and reach my bones, just like you.
i hope you're happy,
i’m covering the hard wood floors now
the bits and pieces splattered.
they are calling it a suicide but i’m calling it
a way to see my brain and
just how dark it has become, and honestly
i don’t want you to try and see about your’s.
i’m mourning the loss of my heart and wish you weren’t either -
Black hole BulimicThe Composition:
I birth poems — not amaranths
in graveyards — not gardens.
sows seeds of doubt
into skeleton weeds.
A farmer plucks the bones
from Apollo's hyacinth; his
I binge on broken
cracked collectors of rocks,
of pebbles kidnapped
from barren beaches:
where crooked kings
buried in books whose
pages creak to crickets
in an abandoned abyss
of an attic—caskets on
an antiquated shelf. I
choke on the dust and
twitch in recoil.
The bickering sky
A cloud coughs—
The clock's scythe hand
swivels to the beckoning
twelve. Spastic ticking—
each bleak stroke
of a midnight heart.
The sundials do not work
now. The vampires know
I kill poems—
obligation steam machineas always
grinding the cankerous
of your cognition
until the lack of compassion
leaves you unlubricated
seized frozen bound stuck
only then the machine of
your fears will burst to steam
squealing to suckle
at the genius of my
the unsung soiled hero
of middle-class ferocity
savior of the undeserving
winding slowly deftly dying
martyr to the self-justified cause
as love for summer fades.late morning-
there's the tease of
snow in the clouds,
in the air, and the trees
have finally lost their
the sunlight is damp.
alters the room
as it graces my skin,
and for once
i don't wake up right away.
instead i lay
between my memory bitten
sheets, and i think
about all the times he said
that he hated winter.
i don't remember
when i began to love it,
and i don't care.
nothing can shatter that.
Red Letter Day - Prologue
So here I am, writing.
I’m writing, I’m writing – just as you told me to.
I’m writing, I’m writing, I’m writing.
Have you ever noticed that when the sun goes down, this flat changes? It does. The walls are white during the day and lingering brown at night. During the day, I’m with you and the light from outside paints the walls that heavenly color. But when that sun goes down, the demons wake and I’m alone again, even though you’re just a room away.
Somehow it seems less threatening tonight, and I think it’s because you’ve given me an assignment to try and fight off the darkness. You gave me a stack of papers and a pen and told me to write everything that comes to mind.
It’s a strange feeling to have complete freedom. These empty pages are mine to do whatever I please – I could even wipe my ass with them – but they’re also terribly intimidating. The blank page has always been a nemesis of man. It&
Keep in Touch!
^Nyx-Valentine arrived in our community and started whipping everyone into a frenzy with her relentless desire to bring the Artistic Nude and Fetish galleries to the fore. 9 years later, and it's safe to say that Nyx is not only a leader as a photographer in these galleries, but she has also established herself as a much saught after model. ^... Read More